One of the biggest reasons we don’t unapologetically show up as the best versions of ourselves is because we are so damn afraid of what other people will think!
In my journey as an entrepreneur I have had to uncover so many un-truths about myself that I believed were real. One of my biggest fears was that I was “replaceable” and here’s why.
I grew up as an athlete and I was damn good! I danced competitively and played softball for two different leagues 10 months out of the year. For the longest time this pattern worked for me but as I got older, the demands got harder and harder to keep up with both. As an early teenager I had to decide one over the other, and I chose softball.
I knew I was capable of going all the way to college and beyond with softball, but there was something else pulling on my heartstrings. On top of being physically tired, I really could not see myself pursuing a career in my sport or as a coach. I knew there was something more for me.
Down the corner from my history class was one tiny classroom filled with the most inspiring, creative women who were pursing a career in fashion marketing and they caught my attention. When I was younger I would dress myself like a little Madonna. I had the most creative eye when it would come to color, texture and art work. I was so curious how I would excel in an industry like fashion. I questioned if I left something behind by not pursuing my artistic side more. My heart fluttered at the idea of what I could learn in that room, so I went out on a quest to discover that and I loved it! My mindset started shifting and I felt I had found my inner voice calling me to something more.
As my passion grew, my desire to play ball dwindled and I eventually let go of my position on the competitive summer team.My high school coach called me in one morning to meet with me over whether or not I was going to continue pursuing softball. I unapologetically let her know that it just wasn’t for me anymore. I decided I was going to pursue a degree in Fashion Merchandising at a university that didn’t even have a team!
In her bitterness that morning she told me that I was “replaceable anyway.” Inside I was crushed to the core. But what about all that time she spent with me, telling me how proud she was? What about all the encouragement along the way as an “All American” player? What about her belief in me that I could get a full ride scholarship to play in college?! What about all of time, energy and commitment I gave her her, the team and to the committee? Was that all just to butter me up? What was it for? I believed every word of it. It empowered me to believe that I was capable to pursue anything I put my mind to. But in that moment that I heard those few words, I was crushed to the core. What coach tells a 17 year old they are replaceable? UGH – it was devastating.
I walked away from that office this morning with a new belief of myself that would haunt me for years. See, back then I didn’t know that when someone said things like that to you, it was actually their deep-seated belief about themselves – not your truth. It wasn’t until recently that I became aware of that thought and started doing the world to release it.
My business mentor has me do a lot of journal prompting and I was recently doing a brain dump and uncovered this hidden belief that I was “replaceable” and it hit me that for the last 13 years, I’ve believed this…until now.
I no longer believe this thought. I know I am worthy. I know I am valuable. I know my message is heard. I know my voice matters. I know my dream client deserves me and I deserve her. I know my children, husband, family and friends deserve the most unapologetic version of myself – the me that shows up as me no matter what. I know I deserve to not judge myself by what other are or are not doing. I know there is room for all of us in this journey of success as we live our best life. I know that this message is going to resonate with the right person or group of people and I am grateful. I am grateful because I still listened to my heart that day and pursued a degree in the fashion industry, and because I did that, it led me to the career I’m in now. Because of that big decision 13 years ago, I am now mentoring women to level up in life and start living the life of their dreams!
Stand in the power of the most incredible you and unapologetically be you! You are worthy and capable of pursuing all that your heart desires.