I was 23 years young when I first said, “I do.” I had a LOT to learn. Looking back, this was a very transitional time for me. I had just graduated college, was soaring in my network marketing career and fell quickly in love with a guy I barely knew. Perhaps it was comfort I was chasing? A feeling of security, perhaps? Either way, it led us to a court house on a hot summer morning and we were married just – like – that.
The relationship took a turn when we both decided our careers (or eagerness for success and recognition) were more important than our relationship. My business was taking a nose dive and my relationship with myself was in turmoil. To the outside world, my life looked perfect (thanks social media) but inside I was crumbling and eager to discover the best version of me.
My quest to become my greatest self didn’t happen overnight but I was determined to wake up with purpose, believe in myself and put a smile on my face. I became inquisitive and curious – reading books, listening to audio clips on YouTube, hiring life coaches and spending late nights chatting with girlfriends about how to up level my life. Good and bad situations were flowing in and out of my life and I was determined to change the course of it all. I wanted love, prosperity and joy. I really needed a wakeup call so that I wouldn’t slumber into some sort of depression.
One afternoon I was talking with a girlfriend over the phone. She was going through almost exactly the same situation as I was. She had recently received some incredible advice from her therapist. When she passed it on to me, it turned into the greatest advice I had ever received.
Her advice was so simple it nearly made me stop in my tracks. She told me I needed to try something new every single week. I thought…seriously is that it? It’s that easy? You mean to tell me your life has completely turned around because you’re trying something new every single week? What do you mean one new thing? Like what? Give me examples? My head was spinning with eagerness to understand.
“Like read a new book”, she said. “Visit a friend you’ve never visited. Try a new coffee shop. Go see a movie by yourself”…by myself???
As simple and silly some of these examples seemed, I was too aware of how brilliantly her life was changing before my eyes that I felt the sincerest tug on my heart to follow her guidance. So, I did. I ventured out on my quest to find a new something to do each and every week!
I started basic. I moved into my very own bachelorette pad. No roommate. Just me, myself and I! I quickly learned how to break out of my comfort zone. Over the next few months, I would visit new coffee shops, read new books, visit friends I hadn’t truly connected with in years, go to weddings alone, shop in new clothing boutiques and even just stay home in my pjs and watch movies on the weekends. I quickly learned how much fun it was just to hang out with me. The illusion that I needed a man in my life started dwindling away as I grew more and more in love with the most authentic version of myself.
Some of my favorite moments from this experience were traveling to Hawaii, becoming a Dog Mom, taking a total immersion course into being a hot yoga instructor, and then meeting the love of my life!
One night, during the week, I stopped into my favorite local restaurant to sit at the bar, drink a glass of wine and have some delicious dinner. It was that night I had the most enlightening conversation with my friend Scott. We were acquaintances but didn’t know much about each other – just the surface stuff. I felt butterflies that night, and he did too.
Over the next few months we started slowly dating and getting to know each other for who we really are. It started to click. He was falling in love with the real me. Not the surface me. Not the highlight reels me. Not the me that I pretended to portray. I had spent months stripping all that away. And he liked me for me!
Our love manifested quickly. By November of that same year we were totally in love. By February we were pregnant with our first son, Kennedy. By June we were moving to Florida. By November we were parents. By the next June we were engaged. By the next May we were married and then quickly pregnant with our second son, Miles. And here I am today, one year into our marriage and a mom to two incredibly handsome boys! To think that just 4.5 years ago I thought my life was in turmoil and one tiny piece of advice catapulted me into creating the life of my dreams. It is more than I could ever ask for!
I realized that by dropping the illusion that I needed a man, or even friends, in my life to fill a void, could be the best thing I’ve ever done. I could create the life I wanted on my own. By creating that on my own, I actually attracted someone who had done exactly the same thing. He is strong, independent and extremely loyal to his family. He challenges me, grows with me and is passionate about creating an amazing life. I learned it takes guts to do this and I wouldn’t trade the uncomfortable moments of it for anything. I now have the most amazing husband and sons because I said yes to discovering me!
I hope this inspires you to take courage in creating your dream life. Say yes to stepping out of your comfort zone. Do things that challenge you and things that encourage growth in your life. Start today by doing something you’ve never done before!